Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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