Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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