shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
