Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
