I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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