ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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