I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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