We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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