I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
