You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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