It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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