I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
