There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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