I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
