peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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