You can't special order awesome
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
