I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
