If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
