Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
