After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
