is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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