She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
