I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
