he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
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then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
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Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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