If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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