Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize