You can't special order awesome
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
