super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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