i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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