question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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