So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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