you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
