I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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