My friends, they love my intelligence
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
