i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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