you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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