i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
