Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
you never un-have a 4some
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
