I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We had to coat check the pizza.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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