A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
