Define "chronic" masturbator.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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