It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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