yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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