I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
