Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You pole danced in your parka.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Randomize
