Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I skipped work to stalk him.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
