I got her a Nickelback box set.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
