I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize