is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize