drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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