P.S. I can't hear my feet
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
