She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
