You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
