Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
There are leaves in my underwear?
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