This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
