we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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