Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
